Emily Flake

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    "Here—go make daddy's Fitbit think he's exercising." - Cartoon
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    "Why don't you show me on the doll where Madonna kissed you" - Cartoon
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    "So, wait, will he be born in time to take him to the new Star Wars movie - Cartoon
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    "I think the real problem to solve here is why Albert and Bernard want to …" - Cartoon
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    "And here's where you could put your nursery, or your home office, or a Ch…" - Cartoon
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    "But honey—it does give us the perfect excuse not to go to your mom's in I…" - Cartoon
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    "I mean, food trucks are great, but I gotta draw the line at food vans." - Cartoon
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    California Lawn Alternatives - Cartoon
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    "I want whichever model will make me forget I'm dead inside." - Cartoon
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    "Honey, she doesn't understand the concept of April, let alone April Fool' - Cartoon
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    "Well, you know what they say about March—in like a lion, out like a margi…" - Cartoon
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    "I'm just not entirely sure a big red arrow pointing rightward is the best…" - Cartoon
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    "Throw out the hummus—from now on we only eat food too fake to host bacter - Cartoon
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    "Hoe many more days should we let her think a rabbit's coming out of that …" - Cartoon
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    "Actually, we're just gonna give everybody a black-and-white cookie and le…" - Cartoon
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    "Sure, sure, the ol' 'I was just reading the bathroom graffiti' defense." - Cartoon
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    "No, man, we can't charge a vig—we're student bookies." - Cartoon
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    "Finally, we get to stop bitching about the weather and start bitching ab…" - Cartoon
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    "...and of course, I will do everything I can to find Boris Nemstov's kill - Cartoon
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    "And looking ahead, we—I—I—can't. I just can't. Sorry, everybody, I give u - Cartoon
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    "Look, I just don't want to use a government email for all of those Playbu…" - Cartoon
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    "So basically, Net Neutrality means no particular porn is more importnant …" - Cartoon
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    "And if you look close, I put Ken Starr hiding in the fireplace." - Cartoon
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    "Oh, honey—we're all afraid of the monster under your bed." - Cartoon
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    "Cat litter, you dummy, not cat food!" - Cartoon
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    "So now we wait and see if your arm turns white and gold." - Cartoon
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    "Oh, hang on—it's zero degrees Kelvin." - Cartoon
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    "Man, you can really learn a lot about somebody by reading her diary." - New Yorker Cartoon
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    "No, no, and no, Murray." - Cartoon
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    Cartoon
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    "I mean, I guess we take your insurance, but we don't, like, take-take you…" - Cartoon
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    "I'm not paying the whole thing—it's only taking up half a parking space." - Cartoon
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    Cut From the Oscars Broadcast - Cartoon
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    "It's the only explanation—he quit so he can run for president! The dream…" - Cartoon
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    What Will Brian Williams Do on Hiatus - Cartoon
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    "It's like the minute they see 'Charlie Manson' on your dating profile all…" - New Yorker Cartoon
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