Emily Flake

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    "Maybe cool it on the beloved celebrities for a bit." - Cartoon
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    "I don't want to alarm you, but I'm pretty sure I heard the Elf on the She…" - Cartoon
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    "Actually, human resources says, this year it has to mean we shake hands." - Cartoon
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    "We've been replaced as security detail." - Cartoon
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    "If they were mad about the 'Apprentice' thing, wait 'til they find out ho…" - Cartoon
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    "You know how last year you said that you didn't think SantaCon could poss…" - Cartoon
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    "Confirmation bias is a hell of a drug." - Cartoon
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    "For crying out loud, another turd" - Cartoon
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    "Go solar." - Cartoon
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    "I mean, I like him, but there's no kicky portmanteau there." - New Yorker Cartoon
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    "I need something sturdy enough to withstand the scrutiny of other parents - New Yorker Cartoon
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    Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on remnants of a romant... - New Yorker Cartoon
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    "For the last time—I can't Rapture you out to the Hamptons." - New Yorker Cartoon
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    "We don't spank in our family—we just use the discipline clown." - New Yorker Cartoon
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    "Hang on—I'll Uber us a school bus." - New Yorker Cartoon
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    "The Wi-Fi password is 'Don't call me sweetie.' " - New Yorker Cartoon
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    "She thinks she's so great cause she has real celiac disease." - New Yorker Cartoon
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    "I don't know—the minute I figured out how to make it self-aware it realiz.
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    "Read it in the hollow, affectless voice of a man with nothing left to los" - New Yorker Cartoon
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    "We're looking for a pediatrician who reflects our design sensibility." - New Yorker Cartoon
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    (Various ways to feed a toddler without getting messy - Toddler Feeding So - New Yorker Cartoon
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    "I'm sorry, sir, but 311 cannot bring you hangover nachos." - New Yorker Cartoon
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    "II miss my frog wife." - New Yorker Cartoon
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    "I joined an online fraternity." - New Yorker Cartoon
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    "He's allergic to peanuts, sensitive to wheat, lactose-intolerant, and jus" - New Yorker Cartoon
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    "I need a really great pair of marry-me pumps." - New Yorker Cartoon
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    "Well, well, welllook who brought a taco to a burrito fight." - New Yorker Cartoon
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    "In space, no one can tell you're fat." - New Yorker Cartoon
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    "I'm sorry, everyone—my e-mail account got hacked last night by some alcoh - New Yorker Cartoon
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    "I'm pretty sure middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not..." - New Yorker Cartoon
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    A panel of Ill-Advised Sesame Street Parodies -- Fifty Shades of Cookie. - New Yorker Cartoon
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    "Here—go make daddy's Fitbit think he's exercising." - Cartoon
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    "Oh, never mind—my work here is already done." - Cartoon
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    "Why don't you show me on the doll where Madonna kissed you" - Cartoon
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    "So, wait, will he be born in time to take him to the new Star Wars movie - Cartoon
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    "I think the real problem to solve here is why Albert and Bernard want to …" - Cartoon
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